Being able to let go of power struggles is a liberating and self-compassionate act. The anguish, pain, torment and turmoil that these struggles cause over months or even years is inexplicable. Often, the attachment may be too strong or the issues appear too important to walk away from. Ending the tug of war may take a lot of work.
The human struggle for power and dominance comes from a sense of lack or scarcity within. People who feel powerless can act in demanding, overwhelming, power-driven ways to compensate for their perceived powerlessness. They underestimate their ability to affect others and behave in extreme ways that are aggressive or disproportionately intense. This has a far more negative impact on their relationships than they had ever intended.
Often due to stress or trauma in their lives, the reptilian part of their brains is dominant. Their behaviour often depends on their instincts, leaving behind emotional balance and the control exercised by the limbic system and the neocortex.
The reptilian brain is perfectly designed to keep us safe but sometimes it can get overactive and create serious problems that can be very hard to control. As it controls many of our reactions and choices, we should be mindful not to allow it to not take control of all our behaviours. Becoming cognizant of what triggers our fight/flight and freeze responses from the reptilian brain empowers us to pause and respond in a more compassionate way to the self and other.
Either you learn to control your reptilian brain, or you may be controlled by it.
There are several different techniques for calming and soothing your reptilian brain. Mindfulness practice, Breathing techniques or heart-focused meditation are but a few. Deep emotional healing work is highly effective especially, inner child work which gets to the causes of the problem as an over-active reptilian brain often results from past emotional trauma.