Welcome to the world of the quick fix. Something bugging you? Have you done wrong in your past? Well, fret no more because this is the week that the world is turning the clock back and crushing any skeletons you may have in your cupboards. Are you a bank executive? Have you frittered away millions and still expect to get paid a sweet bonus? Do not worry, we can wipe all that away from you. Are you a hurling team which hasn’t won a title in 20 years? Not a problem either folks. Just sign on the dotted line here and we can whisk you away to another province. Welcome to the era of the quick fix where if you don’t like it, you can get it fixed. With the internet buzzing with spam emails offering boob enhancements for women and endowments for men that would make an elephant blush in the shower room, this is the era of want it, must have it. Now. Even Halloween has been shafted this year and with the Budget on in two weeks, we can go straight to Christmas. Yes, it’s a choice of freedom or crucifixion, to quote the Life of Brian. And this in the era when the birds are falling out of the hedge funds with the hunger and the world has gone mad with the PDs close to death and Galway United simultaneously one game from Europe and one game from the First Division.
Of course the world global crisis is dominating the news at the moment, but the quick fix that will exercise most minds locally in the coming days is that by Saturday evening, we will all be that little bit closer to Dublin.
Turn up those collars...let's go shopping in BeeTees. Practise those D4 accents because folks whether you like it or not, this weekend, Galway might end up in Leinster — even though the prospect of Galway's hurlers having a better chance of winning by playing tougher opposition is one that many people just cannot fathom.
This weekend the powers that be in the GAH will meet in an runaí-filled room and try to come up with a plan to stop the All-Ireland senior hurling championship being less competitive than the Irish Tiddlywinks Contest.
Now I know the GAA hierarchy locally have objections to the prospect, namely the loss of gate receipts, the loss of gate receipts and, probably, the loss of gate receipts, but they voted in favour this week, fair play to them and now it’s all down to the More Senior Comm-It-Tee to vote on it, just a simple majority and 450 years after his death, Cromwell will have brought Galway to Leinster.
Moving into Leinster will be a big change for us all and requires a new state of mind. No more will we have the auld look of the poor mouth about us. We will be able to adopt a new swagger from Monday next. No more walking like we’re used to the soft ground.
It’ll also be goodbye to poor Connacht, our heroic rugby team who always seem to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Now that Galway could be part of Leinster, will that mean that we will be forsaking Michael Bradley's lads, and shouting in best D4 accents. 'Come on Drico, for gawd's sake, get down on it like a good mon." There will be no more symbolic crossing of the Shannon, because when we’ll be in Croker, we’ll be at home
Imagine the parade there will be in the streets of Athenry and Portumna next year if Galway come home with the Leinster Hurling
Championship cup, with everyone looking on to see what it’s all about, like veterans coming home from the war. But of course, privately, the best part of all of this, is that Mayo will now at last be able to rightfully claim the title as the best hurling team in Connacht.You can keep your Leinster title!